Exams have rolled around again (taking their pains to go over me, as usual), which means procrastination is once again at the top of my coping strategy. Unfortunately all this means for you, dear reader, is that you get to hear a rant. Which is, of course, something the internet currently lacks.

Anyway, there was a big outcry around here over the recent beaching of a bunch of whales on a Cape... er, beach. This would not concern me too much, except it became some sort of rallying cry for all the nations hypocritical hippies to attend to the poor beasts. Leaving out the fact that this just made their miserable lives worse (the whales didn't do so well either, I hear) and resulted in the loss of what could have been an epic beach braai, the insulting bit was what happened afterwards. Having finally shot the stranded creatures and hauled their bloated carcasses off to a worthy burial, the white and worried proceeded to have an impromptu beach wake for them. This turned into a spectacle of the 'oor things' kind, with teary-eyed boomers bemoaning the beauty and majesty that left the world along with the whales.
Which is where I get mad.

Firstly, the whales didn't beach themselves as some sort of mute protest at man's degradation of nature. They did it because they are creatures so stupid that they will not only strand themselves en mass in an environment that will kill them; but will, when hauled out to sea by the helpful, do it again. These are creatures so dumb that the 'I'm dying, gasping in the sun' paradigm just does not get through to them. They will keep coming back to test the whole 'is it land or not' hypothesis forever if given the chance. Put simply, their inevitable deaths were nothing to cry about. Rather, we should be happy that the next generation of whales will be maybe a tad less suicidal.

Secondly, nobody has beach parties over the fate of thousands of people living in fetid hovels in the Cape flats. Nobody cares that, just a few kilometers where the upper crust is so busy caring about the fate of a few individuals from another goddamn species, thousands of real people are poor and sick and cold (winters are harsh in the Mother city after all). Nobody has moonlit ceremonies when the squatter camps burn and people die. Nobody mourns the lives squandered and twisted by poverty and hopelessness. Nobody cares at all.

Fuck hypocrisy. Those whales should have been put out of their misery the second they turned back to the shore. They should have been shot, gutted and stuffed with the best available whale-marinade. And then they should have been cooked, the poor and hungry bussed in to eat them and their bones used to make a proper soup kitchen or school. Then at least their deaths would have done something for the world.